1) Buy a bike, don’t bother getting anything too fancy, your going to beat it up anyway. Every 2 days intentionally break something... fix it yourself without proper tools.
2) Spend a small fortune on camping gear so that you can feel good about “saving money” avoiding hotels. When asked about your travels be sure to remind people your way of travel is cheaper and better and more environmentally friendly... leave out that your whole camping set up put you back over $3000 and that your ultra lite tent is stupid and you hate it.
3) Visit your local mountain, find the steepest, rockiest, most exposed hiking trailyou can find. Carry your loaded bike up and down the hill until you have accumulated 1600meters of elevation. If the trail is unrideable in both directions it will give you the best idea of the CT. Do this for three days in a row, then ride your favourite trail... then go back to riding or pushing up the other trail. This will keep you hooked on riding just enough to keep going. If by chance it’s less than 20 degrees celsius wear a down jacket while you do this. If you live at sea level breath through a straw too.
4) Be sure to carry 3-4 litres of water on you at all times to simulate not knowing where the next water stop is. Ensure all water you drink is warm and tastes vaguely of plastic.
5) Camp in your back yard for a week, make you choose a slightly off kilter spot and throw some sticks down before you set up, know you have a nice bed and shower available but under no circumstance use either one of them. You may wash off with the hose though, but only while it’s already cold out.
6) Before you go to bed each night make sure everything is damp... use a spray bottle if necessary... if you can’t sleep your not tired enough...do twice as much elevation tomorrow.
7) Ask your neighbor to periodically let their dog into your yard in the middle of the night, lay awake wondering what that sound is anyway. If you can’t sleep, your not tired enough. Do twice as much elevation as yesterday.
8) On weekend days go down to the local RV park and set your tent up between the two biggest RV’s you can find. If it’s on rock or gravel that’s ideal. Ask the RV owners if they can run their generator until after midnight.
9) Fantisize about real food while you eat your 57th granola bar.
10) Have sausage at that mildly sketchy dinner in the middle of nowhere...regret that decision for the next two days... it’s best if you have to ration toilet paper. You may not use indoor plumbing.
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